I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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