Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
