Can i not drive my cunt home
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
