we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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