I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have fence marks all over my body
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize