just come out here and I will go home with you...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
