It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
