you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
