I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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