physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
