you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
