My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
