Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
