am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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