you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
