omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize