you guys were way drunker than both of me
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
