I wish I only lived at night.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
