make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
