Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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