I'm really into asian looking animals
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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