If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
