I got chris browned last night
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
