this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize