I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
