I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you never un-have a 4some
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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