My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
