seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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