so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize