he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
