girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
