I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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