Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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