I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
