Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
