Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
