When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
