I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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