Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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