Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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