those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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