Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
