I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
