no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
