did you get engaged???
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
