Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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