i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize