looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize