I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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