all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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