ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
