It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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