If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
