I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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