What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
