hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
