i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize