I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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