And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
