Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
