Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
