A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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