i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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