He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize