Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

If i could tip my vagina, i would.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.

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(845): View more from New York

Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good

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(630): View more from Illinois

You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn

(803): View more from South Carolina

i'll bring the vodka

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping

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