You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize