is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
