just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i came on her dog
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
